Thursday, June 2, 2011

Choosing the right Pokébra

pokebra, originally uploaded by faseextra.

Now that you know how to make a Pokébra, we are found in a different dilemma. Which Pokébra to use? To save you time, here are a few quick-and-dirty rules to help you choose which one to wear in your next adventure...
pastedGraphic.pdf Poké Ball bra: the standard bra you want to use for easy-to-catch prey.
Great Ball bra: slightly better in catching prey than the Poké Ball bra, but usually overlooked for the Ultra Ball bra, which is only slightly more expensive. Besides, the red things might look rather weird under your top.
Ultra Ball bra: twice as likely to catch unsuspecting prey under all circumstances as the Poké Ball bra, with the added bonus that it is rather easy to get.
Safari Ball bra: useful only when you want to catch someone while in a wild safari adventure. You might need to throw some kind of bait at the victim before the Safari Ball bra does any good, though.
Master Ball bra: you use this one to catch the man that you MUST have.
pastedGraphic.pdf Level Ball bra: use this bra to catch prey that is not as experienced as you. Most effective for cougars, but be always on the lookout for jail bait
pastedGraphic.pdf Lure Ball bra: used to catch prey while fishing. You have to be rather patient to use this one, unless you are into using your bras to catch Magikarp
pastedGraphic.pdf Moon Ball bra: used to catch men that are cute and fluffy. Not sure why girls would like to do that though...
Friend Ball bra: this bra is used to make prey very friendly towards you. Mind you, if the prey are seeing your bra, they are friendly to begin with...
pastedGraphic.pdf Love Ball bra: it is has a really high catch rate on prey of the same species and opposite gender as you. Those who are into same-sex relationships and into animals might not want to use this one
Heavy Ball bra: it is effective in catching prey that are heavier than 451.5 lb. Which makes me ask why on Earth anyone would use this
pastedGraphic.pdf Fast Ball bra: used to catch prey that run from the encounter with you in the first turn. That is, it’s most effective on shy people
pastedGraphic.pdf Sport Ball bra: used to catch prey who are in the Bug-Catching Contest. Why would you want to grab bugs with your bra? eww
pastedGraphic.pdf Premier Ball bra: used to celebrate an event of some sort. If the prey is seeing your bra, it’s already a special event… ;)
Repeat Ball bra: used to catch people you have already caught before. Most useful for people who want to get together with their abusive ex-husband
pastedGraphic.pdf Timer Ball bra: it becomes more effective as the encounter goes on. Useful if you are a tease or if you are into foreplay
pastedGraphic.pdf Nest Ball bra: useful to catch baby prey. If you wear this, expect a visit from Chris Hansen
Net Ball bra: most effective for people who are into swimmers or those who are into bugs. Crikey!
Dive Ball bra: used to catch prey during underwater encounters. THAT would be a story to tell the grandkids...
pastedGraphic.pdf Luxury Ball bra: used to catch those who need to be pampered to like you. Sugar mamas’ Pokébra of choice
Heal Ball bra: fully restores the health and stamina of the prey you caught. HOW exactly did you catch it? o.O
Quick Ball bra: most effective when used right away, which makes it the best fit for exhibitionists
Dusk Ball bra: since most bras are exposed at night, the Dusk Ball bra gives you a very high prey catch rate, for nowhere near the cost as a Master Ball bra! Great value!
pastedGraphic.pdf Cherish Ball bra: you get this one as a gift, but can never actually use it on anyone
pastedGraphic.pdf Park Ball bra: it catches prey of older generations without fail. Useful if you are into Hugh Hefner or are a gold-digger
pastedGraphic.pdf Dream Ball bra: useful for catching prey that came out of your dreams. Nobody really understands how this one works, so just enjoy it

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